Wednesday, September 21, 2011

Humpy Day or Wed Nes Day

When I was learning to spell the days of the week, I put the word (in my head) in a certain way so I would remember the spelling.  Wednesday to hear it should be spelled Wenzday.  When I kept getting F's because I "used my phonics", I resorted to the literal translation.  Wed Nes Day.  Wow!!  I was impressed.  I told all my classmates!!  Lookie here, this is all you need to do.  Wed Nes Day.  Maybe one or two used my incredible discovery, but the rest of them used good old fashioned "memorization".  Whatever, losers!!!

When I was in high school, I took typing (on a thing called a typewriter for you twenty somethings).  It was electric (good ole Ben conveniently discovered it when I was a young girl).  The teachers put a piece of cardboard over the keys so you couldn't "peek" at what you were typing.  (We were the future secretaries of the world after all).  To practice while not in class, I used to (and this is weird confession moment here....thank God I don't have any followers to actually read this) I would "type" my conversations.  Not on a pretend typewriter, but casually walking from class to class and keeping my hands down by my side, anything I might be saying in conversation to someone I would "type".  It was subtle, so no I was not "that weird girl who types when she walks thru the halls".  As weird as it was, it helped my WPM (words per minute) go up to over 100 at the time.

To this day however, I remain a rebel and I rest my wrists on the keyboard.  I know...I am OUT OF CONTROL!!  : )

So we're off to another day here.  10 days til my get away to VA.  I have a meeting tonight and tomorrow (I'm a community association manager for homeowner and condo association communities) and I have night meetings with the Boards of those associations.  At least having the meetings fills my days and they won't drag out like waiting for Christmas used to when I was a kid.  Did you know that time actually came to a stop in the late 70's right before Christmas?  It's true, because every December 24th for probably the entire 70's decade, time halted and EACH SECOND WAS AN HOUR.  FACT.

Am I rambling here or what?  I just don't want to leave yet and go to work because it's drizzling here and everyone knows with rain comes STUPID PEOPLE who insist on either driving 1 mile per hour (in the left lane on the highway) OR eleventy billion miles per hour.  Doncha hate stupid people??  Or really dislike them?  And what defines stupid?  Of course we all have our thoughts on this and our own threshold of "stupid".  We also all have "stupid" moments.  But there are people out there who are constantly stupid.  I seem to encounter these people on a regular basis.  The ones that walk in the middle of the store aisle REALLY SLOW and absolutely don't move when you SQUEEZE by them.  Or the people who, though there's NO ONE behind you, pull in front of you and drive SLOW.  Then throw their hands up when you honk/flash your lights/wave at them with your middle finger.

Or the people that call you to complain about living in a community with a homeowner's association (because you know a gun WAS held to their head to sign on the dotted line and buy that home).  Why CAN'T I let my grass grow as tall as I want?  Who are you to send me a politely worded letter to mow?  They take it personally as if the form letter which we send for "violations" is full of cursing/slander and threats.  It can't be more nice "Hello beloved Homeowner:  We'd just like to bring to your attention that your community's covenant state blah blah blah.  On a recent drive through it was noted that your grass is 5 feet tall and your house cannot be seen.  We kindly ask that you mow.  If you've already done so, then THANK YOU SO VERY MUCH AND MAY THE GODS SMILE ON YOU.  If you cannot mow your jungle lawn within 10 days, please contact our office and let us know when it will fit into your schedule."   It's really just like that....but the calls I get.  OMG.  They act like the letter said "listen you idiot, your frickin grass is overgrown. Go out and mow it you worthless piece of ***t!!"  While that's what I'd LIKE to say sometimes, it's no where near that.  So I calmly asked the screaming lunatic homeowner on the phone "how would you like me to enforce the rules in the community that you chose to live in?".  Usually they tell me to worry about the people that don't pay their dues (wow, really??? I never would have thought of going after those people...hmmmmm...why didn't I think of that?  Wow!  I could create a whole industry of people who go after deadbeats....wait a minute....WE ALREADY DO).

Happy Wed Nes Day ya'll!!  : )


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