Sunday, July 31, 2011

And Here We Go Again....

Summer is coming to an end here in north Georgia.  At least that's what the school calendars say.  Here in Cherokee County, we're on almost a year round school.  They get off June and July and go back the first of August.  However they get off a week in September, a week for Thanksgiving, two weeks for Christmas, a week in February, spring break in April and then get out the end of May.  Good schedule, I think, however my hubby feels otherwise.

See he's retired and stays at home with the monsters, uh I mean kids all.summer.long.  ALLLLL.SUMMMMMEERRRR.LLLLOOONNNNGGGG (he had me add that one).  The first couple of weeks, yay!!!  Good times!!!  Sleep in late!!!  But then, ultimately, the "I'm bored" monster rears its ugly head and, speaking for myself, I have done what I SWORE I would NEVER do.  Become my mother.  When I hear the "I'm boredddd...." whine, my natural sarcasm kicks in and I just get the confused look when I ask them if they'd like some cheese with that whine.  Sigh. (Note to self, you ARE dealing with children here).  Then, before I know it, out of my mouth flies the dreaded..."well if you're bored, go clean your room!".  I slam my hand over my mouth!!  Both of them!!  I can't believe I've said that.  I absolutely promised myself as a worldy, intelligent, know it all teenager, that I would NEVEREVEREVEREVER say things like that to my children.

I would calmly discuss with them the things they could do and then (camera zooms in on a peaceful, domestic scene:  Mother and father are playing a rousing game of scrabble with their teenage children, who, shockingly are dressed neatly, combed, cut hair (hint hint Tyler), they respectfully ask their parents if they'd like a refill of their iced tea and when mom gets up to start the dishes, they all jump up and say "no mom!!  We'll get those!  You go sit and relax with Dad".)  Bubble bursts like a professional gum smacker/blower and I'm left with children whose hair hasn't seen a comb in God knows how long, they've been in the same clothes all week, the idea of doing dishes is both repulsive and foreign to them, they argue amongst themselves CONSTANTLY, Scrabble would absolutely NOT be a game of choice, whining is an art form to them, they all talk at once and, before I know it, out of my mouth bursts all those things I swore I'd never say!!  "If you're bored, go clean your the dishes....clean the house...mow the yard...etc".  If I hear another word out of your mouth you will be grounded (except, I add my own flourishes on it such as "until the end of time" (mom wasn't known for her sarcasm).  "Fine, DON'T eat it, but you can go sit in your room for the rest of the night".

I hang my head in shame before you!!  I have become my parents.  But wait, don't we all ultimately "learn" from a parental figure??  Learn even a little something??  So maybe I can put a spin on this.  I've "picked up" some tidbits from my parents so maybe I can use those, but in my own "charming little way".

So when my kids tell me they're bored, I pause and then I say "Well if you're bored honey ( "spin") you can go and clean your room".  Kid: "But I don't want to do THAT".  Me: "Oh, so you were hoping I'd say something like, well if you're bored let's go to Disney World?".  Kid: (with a ginormous grin on their face):  "Yeah!!!".  Me: (and yes I'll burn in hell for this but it's fun):  "Sorry...not gonna happen.  Now go clean your room".  I'm giggling right now.  I am SO gonna burn.

But the kids ALWAYS manage to keep themselves entertained, so maybe it's not so bad.



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